A family was on it's way to the kingdom Hall. When their little daughter said
"Daddy we gotta go BACK HOME the father said "what's wrong honey the little girl said "I forgot my notebook. I can't take any notes at the meeting. Her father said' it wont hurt to miss taking notes 1 time. The little girl started crying LOUDLY BUT DADDY remember what happened to the people in Noah's day "they were all washed away...because they took NO NOTES. The father turned the car around and headed BACK HOME.
Assembly
In the afternoon session of an assembly, right after the lunch break, a brother falls deeply asleep. The brother that's next to him elbows him, opens the Bible and shows him 1Thessalonians 5:6 "So then, let us not sleep on as the rest do, but let us stay awake and keep our senses." The brother looks at him kindly and points to the previous page; 1Thessalonians 4:11a "and to make it your aim to live quietly and to mind your own business"
BROTHER: Do you have a Boyfriend?
SISTER: I don't want a boyfriend this time
BROTHER: Genesis 2:18 - Then JEHOVAH GOD said: "it is not good for the man to continue to be alone. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement
of him."
SISTER: I don't love you.
BROTHER: 1 John 4:8 - Whoever does not love has not come to know God, because God is love.
SISTER: Are you honestly speaking?
BROTHER: Mark 13:31 - Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will by no means pass away.
SISTER: But i'm still Busy
BROTHER: Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is an appointed time for everything, A time for every activity under the heavens:
SISTER: And why me?
BROTHER: Proverbs 31:29 - There are many capable women, But you_you surpass them all
SISTER: What you liked me?
BROTHER: Song Of Solomon 4:7 "You are altogether beautiful, my beloved, There is no blemish in you.
SISTER: I'm not Beautiful
BROTHER: Proverbs 31:30 - Charm may be false, and beauty may be fleeting, But the woman who fears
JEHOVAH will be praised.
SISTER: What you want to happen?
BROTHER: 2 Corinthians 2:4 - For out of much tribulation and anguish of heart I wrote you with many tears, not to sadden you, but to let you know the depth of
love I have for you.
Nıce Theocratıc Laughs
A young single sister was very much in love with a brother and during the meeting she sends him a folded little piece of paper quoting.
The Song of Solomons 1:2 and the brother sends the little piece of paper back with the text of John 2:4.
The Song of Solomons 1:2"May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your expressions of endearment are better than wine.
"John 2:4 "what have I to do with you woman? My hour has not yet come."
Me marry you---No way
A little 6 year old girl told her father. That she wanted to marry the Circuit overseer who was visiting the congregation at that time. The circuit overseer heard of this and smiled at the little girls enthusiasm. The next time this Circuit overseer visited that congregation. The circuit overseer noticed the little girl was ignoring him. So he said to the little girl. I thought you wanted to marry me. The little sister said "me marry you--- NO WAY. You haven't been to a meeting in 6 months. Of course our little sister didn't realize. That circuit overseers only visit each congregation. 1 time every SIX MONTHS.
No God----No Brain
The Atheist teacher told the school class. There is NO GOD and I will PROVE it
she took the class outside and she said to the little Jehovah's witness boy
look up there in the sky do you SEE a GOD----of course you DON"T then she LAUGHED LOUDLY.
You DON'T SEE a God----because there is NO God she took the kids back into the school. The little Jehovah's WITNESS boy raised HIS Hand and said....
Teacher may I ask you a QUESTION the Atheist teacher said .....go ahead but BE QUICK about it. The little Jehovah's Witness boy said Teacher, "we cannot SEE your BRAIN would that PROVE---- that you DO NOT have ONE.
What's that price Again
Many years ago. When we asked 25 cents for the magazines. One spiritual brother had moved to a country. Where he did not speak the LANGUAGE very well. Our brother went to a house out in field service and a pretty girl answered the door/ The brother tried his best to offer the girl the watchtower and Awake magazines / The brother understood when the girl asked him.
"How much for the magazines?
Our dear brother tried to say 25 cents in her language the girl said----"but I'm Married and then she quickly closed the door. Our brother asked a local brother...what had happened because the girl had seemed interested. The local brother could only laugh you didn't say the magazines are 25 cents
you told her the price will be .....5 KISSES
He's still My Brother
Brother gossip says "do you know what brother so and so did. Sister faithful replies "yes I heard about that, BUT he's still my brother. And then Brother Gossip said " Brother so and so drinks a lot. Sister faithful replies "some say he does drink, BUT he's still my brother. And then Brother gossip said. I have seen him uses bad language. Sister Faithful replies "Maybe he sometimes use's colorful words. But he's still my brother. And until Jehovah God says different. He is still YOUR brother too.
Big Bully Teacher
The big bully teacher told his students everyone in my class will shout VIVA LOPEZ. who was the teachers favorite politician and all the students in the class room shouted VIVA LOPEZ except for the 10 year old Jehovah's Witness boy. The big BULLY TEACHER yelled at the Jehovah's Witness boy HOW DARE YOU not shout VIVA LOPEZ and he hit the young boy in the FACE and BLOOD poured down our spiritual brothers shirt NOW will you shout VIVA LOPEZ screamed the big bully teacher. The young boy said... "can Mr Lopez take the blood off my shirt and put it back into my BODY Mr Lopez CANNOT do that---but my God Jehovah CAN so, I don't shout viva Lopez . No instead I say... VIVA JEHOVAH!
No Big Deal---Or Is IT?
The local Minister was visiting a woman who had not been to CHURCH in a few MONTHS the preacher said ---we have missed you at our SERVICES OF COURSE he also... MISSED the MONEY she had not been giving. The woman said...a couple people came to my door. And they showed me That God's NAME is JEHOVAH OH YEAH said the minister----those Jehovah's Witnesses they make SUCH a BIG DEAL about a NAME. A NAME is really not all THAT IMPORTANT
Ok said the woman----I know I haven't send my Tithes in lately. Tell me how much I owe.... and I'll give you the MONEY. The Minister Smiled--- and TOLD her the AMOUNT of Money. She wrote the minister a CHECK--- and handed it TO HIM. The Minister said...wait a minute...you didn't SIGN IT the woman said
You're not gonna make A BIG DEAL about a NAME are you. After all...you JUST TOLD ME a NAME is NOT all that IMPORTANT. As this MINISTER found out
Sometimes a NAME can be IMPORTANT. Like when it comes to SIGNATURES on CHECKS HOW much MORE SO. Is the NAME of the ONLY TRUE God.
The MOST IMPORTANT NAME in the whole UNIVERSE YES, the NAME Jehovah is VERY VERY IMPORTANT!
Return visit
One bright day, a brother was making a return visit on an interested person. He rang the doorbell and knocked rather loudly. It was obvious that there was someone home but despite the fact that he knocked several times, nobody opened.
Finally the brother took a tract out from his suitcase and wrote on the back of it Revelation 3:20 before leaving it at the door.
Later that week when the brother went back to the same return visit, he found his tract on a little table next to the door. Below his cited scripture of Revelation was written
Genesis 3:10. The brother opens the Bible and after reading the scripture, blushed and started laughing.
Revelation 3:20 "Look! I am standing at the door and knocking. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into his house and take the evening meal with him and he with me.
Genesis 3:10 "Finally he said: Your voice I heard in the garden, but I was afraid because I was naked and so I hid myself."
And what funny things of Christian life, you know?
And what funny things of Christian life, you know?
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